Monday, May 29, 2006

Get Me Out

So, here I am, in the same timeless, most boring and most dangerous place in the world. I've been away because I have nothing to say or write about! The same days are repeating themselves, and the same monotonous things are happening everyday.

I'm hopless,
Helpless,
Angry,
Currently unhappy,
Simply, I feel like a hell burning inside of me.
I want to get out of here as soon as possible, yet the time seems endless for me! There are many different signs everyday telling me and my family to get out this country that once was.

For the first time since the war started, a motor-cycle exploded in the middle of the local market of my neighborhood. It killed 22 people, most of them were kids, and that just made me raged and hopeless. The explosion took place at about 9 P.M., so many people were there, mostly kids. It's true that it's a night time when everyone should be lockep up at home cuz of the night curfew, but shops would close at about 11 o'clock every night in my small region, so people would still be going out at night.

Thankfully, we were all at home that day. I begged Mom to go out and buy some stuff from the market but she kept telling me to postpon it to the next day. If we were there at that time, I would be writing this from Heaven by now. Or from Hell maybe!

We knew most of the people who died. One of them was a girl preparing for her wedding day which happened to be the next day! Three little brothers were inside a car waiting for the parent. One of them had his brain popped out of his head and died immedeatly, the two others lived but with a traumatic disease now. And many more...

The streets were closed, funerals were held in ever corner of the neighborhood, and people were all in black attending the funerals. Candles were lit in the explosion's place on the third day. I went there to see it; it was so sad. Seeing the place where I grew up in this state and knowing that people died their is heart breaking. The faces I've seen almost everyday since I was a little kid... They're no more.

I am out of thoughts and ideas. I've been trying to think of one good topic to write about but my head seems emptier than what I thought! I lost my Muse. All I can think of now is to "get out".

7 comments:

ac blue eagle said...

Sad, truly sad. I hope you and your family remain safe!

programmer craig said...

Hi Morbido,

As sad and siturbing as this post is, you still have some hope for the future. I can see it in your words. Hang onto that! Once you fall down into that limbo where you just don't care whether you live or die any more, it can take many years to recover. And some people never do. I was younger than you when I found myself in that state, and I think it was about a decade before I fully pulled out of it. You seem like a strong person, and a natural optimist - you have a lot more going for you than you think. Don't give in to despair. You might emerge from these traumas a better person than you were before. We human beings have some choice in how we deal with emotional stress. Many of the people who are committing these acts of violence are the ones who have fallen down into that pit of despair themselves. Don't let them drag you down there with them!

David said...

Dear Morbido,
I am very sad and angry to hear of this tragic crime! What kind of person can so callously murder children? I wish there was something that I could say or do to make this better, but I know there is not. I hope that you and your family will continue to be safe and that you will be able to leave there soon. Take care.

Lynnette in Minnesota said...

Morbido,

I'm so very very sorry to hear this.

How anyone can be so filled with hate that attacking a market seems like a good idea is beyond belief.

My condolences on the loss of your friends.

Stay safe.

attawie said...

I feel your pain with every word.
May God keep you and your family and those you love, and all the Iraqis, safe.

Ash said...

That is so sad. My condolences to all the families involved.

karina said...

just keep on praying that you'll always be safe...


so that when you die, you'll sure go to heaven... (hahahaha. hope the line puts a smile in your face.)

take care always..