Tuesday, September 27, 2005

{Jokes of the day!}

Suddenly all thoughts are out of mind ! So I'm posting jokes of the day!!


+ A tornado hit a farmhouse just before dawn. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county. The wife began to cry. "Don't be scared, Susan," her husbandsaid. "We are not hurt." Susan continued to cry. "I'm not scared," she said between sobs. "I'm happy 'cause this is the first time in 15 years we've been out together.


+ A Sunday school teacher asked the children in her class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?" "No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven?" Again the answer was "No!""Well", she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"


Dhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

5 comments:

Pebble said...

There's an Iraqi girl here (in the USA) in school she has a blog, maybe you would like to talk to her... I'm sure she would be happy to communicate with you! I'm so happy for you...

http://bethnahrain.blogspot.com/

{{{HUGS}}}

Pebble said...

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."


2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later ...."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No, You had your chance, lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy"


5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied,
directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mommy says it's a bitch to iron."

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was
just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied,
but what's growing in your butt?"


7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped,
"What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated. The mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."


8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to
the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A
talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.


9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."


10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

CharlesWT said...

A boy asked his sister, who was baking cookies, if he could have one.

"No!"

He asked his mother if Rotterdam was a bad word.

"No. That's a city in The Netherlands."

"Well, I hope those cookies Rotterdam teeth out!"

Morbid Smile said...

Those are very funy jokes! I'm searching for more and will post them soon.

By the way, I can't get to your blog, charleswt ! All what I see in your profile is the link to the blog, and when I click on it I get only one sentence " NOT FOUND" !

The same problem with richsanter!

How to visit your blogs?!

CharlesWT said...

I created the profile so as not to be anonymous when posting comments on blogspot blogs. I have no plans, at the moment, of doing any blogging. I've deleted the blog so as not cause any more confusion. :)